There is nothing wrong with shame

I am always in this constant struggle with myself around how daring I am to give something a go or to get back up again and give something another go.

I was in a meeting yesterday and my client had 357 no’s on the product he developed until he got a yes. It made me think about how do I keep getting past the self talk to keep ‘stepping back into the arena’.

As Brene in this Ted talk explains it is shame that tries to stop me. Shame is that gremlin who says ‘you are not good enough’ and then you hear the 100 reasons why and if you can overcome those, shame then asks you ‘who do you think you are?’

I have just learned that shame is not guilt. Shame is a focus on self whereas guilt is a focus on behaviour. Shame is “I am bad”, whereas guilt is “I did something bad”.

It is Empathy that dissolves shame. Surrounding myself with people who also step regularly into the arena and overcome shame are the ones who have really helped me with stories of “me too!” (And I would like to think I help also).

I am always really interested in the psychology of the audiences we are working with, what could be going on for them that will affect their buying decisions.

Plus personally, I am grateful for the people in my circle of influence who are there also beating down shame and willing to share their stories of ‘me too!’.

I love neuro marketing (the science of human behaviour),
Belinda